Saturday, June 19th, Bar 160
Day 160—Friday, June 18th, 2010
The Bar in the Marriott Hotel in Times Square (Originally headed for Press Lounge—Rooftop bar at Ink 48 Hotel)
Okay, I’m feeling much better than last night and I’m ready to get back on the crawl. Friday nights can be tough to do this sometimes because of the crowds and noise factor, so I try to find low-key places to go to. It’s a nice night and you’d think that a rooftop bar would be a poor choice, but I’ve heard about this new rooftop bar in the Ink 48 Hotel called the Press Lounge and it’s supposed to be huge. And in some of the reviews I’ve read it says there’s no bottle service (translation: No yuppies and phony wannabe’s paying crazy-ass prices for a bottle of vodka) and no blaring music. So it’s sounds like it’s worth a try, okay, let’s go...up on the roof!
I hailed a cab and great God's almighty does it stink in here! Like a combination of sweat, piss and some sort of rancid Aqua Velva scent. Windows down and head out the window immediately!
Here we are heading uptown on a Friday night in Manhattan, lots of traffic and I've just thrown up a little bit in my mouth from the stink in the cab.
The line to the rooftop bar is out the door. Motherfucker! This jackass says to me, "Welcome to Manhattan," like some sort of know-it-all. I've lived here for 17 years and he probably just got off the plane from Bumblefuck, Idaho two hours ago. But I guess he's got a point, a rooftop bar on a nice summer night in Manhattan and I thought I would just waltz in. What the fuck was I thinking? Well, I'm not waiting in this line. Maybe this hotel has another bar.
They do, but they just called last call. At 11:30 pm on a Friday night? Welcome to Manhattan. I got a feeling this is going to be a long-ass night.
This block is void of bars, I'm going to walk up a block to 10th Avenue and begin my walk of shame. A rooftop bar on a Friday night...STUPID! What was I thinking? Welcome to Manhattan!
And now time for my lonely walk in search of a bar that's not jam-packed on a Friday night.
Fuck it, every bar I've walked by is jammed to the stinking rafters. If I'm going to have to do tonight's crawl in a maddening place, might as well go all the way. I'm at 42nd and 10th, just a few blocks from the crazy-ass goings on in Times Square on a Friday night. As long as I'm going to have to subject myself to madness, I might as well go all the way.
If I wasn't so pressed for time I'd stop here and sample some of the gourment food. One word Mr. Deli Man, "Spellcheck!"
I wish Curly was here right now so I could say, "Curly, all that's missing from this sign is U." Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!
Here we are, deep in the heart of touristville.
I think I made a mistake, but there's no turning back now.
Something tells me this woman isn't going to be happy with this artist's depiction of her looking like a batshit-crazed Katie Couric.
I never come here and now I know why, there's no bars in this sea of bullshit!
Hey Spiderman, why don't you go solve a crime and quit ripping off the hicks?
No way am I drinking at a T.G.I.F.'s, even if it is a Friday night.
This place looks corny, but I've been walking around over an hour and I just want to have my three drinks and get home. (Clicks heels three times.)
Shit, no seats here. Help me Mr. Wizard!
Okay, hopefully there's a seat at the bar here.
"Home of the KILTED bartenders?" Holy shitballs! Kilt's creep me out big time! I mean if you're a man and you want to wear a dress, go for it, but at least slap on some make-up and make some sort of effort at cross-dressing. I can't take a guy wearing a plaid dress and being all Scottish and manly. This night is truly hexed!
Fuck it, I've boycotted the bar in the Marriott for years. It used to spin and was kind of cool. Then they redid it and it doesn't spin anymore and it's just boring. But I've had enough.
See what I mean?
And a bottle of Budweiser is nine fucking bucks here! I gave the guy a twenty and here's my change! Unfuckingbelievable!
Self-portrait of a broken bar-crawler.
For once I didn't hand out cards or tell the bartender what I was doing, I'm sure the way my luck is running he would've told me no pictures. So I snuck this one.
Moment's later he called last call. At 12:45 on a Friday night (Saturday morning to be technically correct.) I got two to make my three drink minimum. Welcome to Manhattan! I hope you enjoyed the little Times Square tour, because we won't be crawling back here anytime soon. Goodnight everybody!
Review
The bar here used to spin in a circle and you could see all the sights in Times Square while drinking a nine dollar bottle of Budweiser. It doesn’t spin anymore. Fuck.
The Bar in the Marriott Hotel in Times Square
1535 Broadway
212-398-1900
32 References
Reader Comments (32)
It's hard to respond to this installment of 365 without resorting to platitudes ( which I personally hate with a passion) so I won't. I usually keep something cheap and breakable that flies into a million pieces and makes a satisfying crunch when you throw it against a wall for nights like this one. Try it, it helps...I know!
sorry you had a bad night, but it made for an hilarious post. loved the katie couric comment, i thought the same thing when I saw it! LOL!
p.s. men in kilts frighten me too, thanks for not going in there!
Weird but this crawl was one of the funniest and viewer friendly ive seen yet. Great pics of Times Square and hilarious commentary. Great job. The jackass from Bumblefuck, Idaho was enough to make you wanna go home,,,,but the great, tough Marty prevails again. Same shit down here on South Beach at nite,,,,thats why I never go there,,,everyone seems to be from Bumblefuck. That $27 tab for three buds is insane,,,,Thats what I paid at the Oak bar at the Plaza a few years ago. I love the lonely street Rick Nelson video,,,keep it up, Marty, great job again.
When the going gets rough, the crawling gets hilarious! I agree with Al, a crawl for the books! I'm going to go get some gourment food now!
i keep telling you the midwest (South Dakota) is the place to be...hell for $27 you can by a case of Budweiser off-sale take a shot and then go home and have a great party! ;')
I'll be the odd one out and admit i have a folder in my computer of nothing but men in kilts... I think men in kilts are fucking hot.. sorry.. i'm chick like in that way...
but since i'm not here to surf porn i forgive you marty for not getting me any pics up their skirts:)
Welcome to Manhattan! (Couldn't resist, this is one of your funnier blogs, Marty!)
Kudos alone for your persistence and fortitude.
You should have gotten a shot of your head out of the cab window like a dog on a car ride.
It made for a good "adventure" though.
Between the Budweisers and the cab fare, we'd better sell some merch here
or get that donation bell ringing! Ha.
Thanks for the guided tour though, only as you can describe it.
Good job!
i have to agree with Kim, specially if ya get get away from the bar & go "Deck Partying" with the locals, great people,beers cheap, great fun!....(not that Kims Bar is'nt fun,far,far, from it.... just not as much fun when you own it & have to work it day in day out eh hun....)
@Marty, wot a shithouse nite! the warning bells should've went off when you got in that gloryhole cab at the start....ya poor bastard, but can only get better tonite....
Marty , those 9 buck Bud's made my head spin , & I thought 5 bucks was bad , shit I am dizzy & I didn't even drink 1 , going to store right now & getting my 16 Oz Bud for 2 bucks , to win some money back for you .
I remember when it wasn't safe walking around Times Square @ that hour by your self , & funny I miss it , it made me feel tough to walk threw the Pimp's , Whores & Gang Bangers hanging out & all the porno stores that stayed open all night ,
HAHAHA !!! :D Mister 'Know-it-All' from Bumblefuck !! OOOH I know so well those kind of people ! AB bar's boss IS like this!!! And I think it's sooooo funny to talk with people like that!!! (but not to long! better to stay healthy)
The AB bar's Boss was fireman and saved alone 100 people from a building in fire! (why no colleague with him? well he has answered that they got all sick with unfresh oysters), he was volunteer with an humanitarian associations in somalia and was helicopter pilot and saved an entire village from an air raid, he know everything about everything and did everything in his life!! Brief he also told us that he was named "the hero" in several newspapers and we asked to see that! he answered that he lost everything in a fire at his home... huum, a fireman who get a fire at his home because of the dog who ate unfresh pussy from bumblefuck... THAT MAKE SENSE !!!!
Jason, the guy who has lived 49 years here and who perfectly know where the porn stores was in Times square!! mouhahaha !!! :D but when I came in New York he told me "Welcome to that crazy city" and indeed the first night I slept in this city I got anxiety attack because of the police siren !!!! And It's funny because I always thought they added "police siren sounds" in movies showing NYC, to make the movie more "anxious" but... NOT AT ALL!!! haha !!
@Jaws : I know! I destroyed so many things against walls !! My best is still 'paint brush' and I could write a book called "99 paint brushes on the wall" AHAHHAHAA !!!!
Hilarious!
I can't believe your beer was $9.00! American even! That's, like... $9.03 Canadian!!
damn another late post..and the first time on the "crawl" 365 did not bounce back in one way but did in an other with the tour of times square instead of friendly female "knockouts" with a cold one...glad to read that the stomach thing was not "the stomach thing"...@zoom zoom you stole my (in my mind) thunder with the bit about 99...don't have a reference...it's out on loan but i seem to recall something about a moustache and no tip...KOC
RR
Sorry you had a down night, but still a funny post. And I have to agree with @Gidget, men in kilts = hot, hot, HOT! I played the bagpipes in high school, and the best part was hanging out with guys in kilts. I wish I wouldn't have been such a goody girl in high school and gotten to take advantage of the easy access. I think you need to give that bar a shot!!
@kari,&@Gidget i went to boarding school in the mid 80's....The Scots School, Bathurst, NSW in Oz.....never played in the pipes/drums band (woke every morning at 5AM for 3 years with the bastards practicing the bagpipes)...but there was compulsory Military Cadets i was in....& every fucking Military Tattoo or Parade we had to wear those fucking kilts....they sucked!!....but hey if chicks dig'em now, then i'll admit to wearing one back then....(not today!! well not in public....only for Kim whom i could handle laughing at me....)
sorry you had a bad night; good post; lookin like you may have to start planning ahead more often; hope soon to help you out if you want
@fitzy I will admit that you have to watch out heat rash especially while wearing them during parades, and windstorms are a bit nerve racking, but yes, admit proudly!
Marty ! you should have stopped in St. Andrews .... I've been there a few times and like it -- they have good beer there. Don't let the kilts bother you ! Also, next time you are at 42nd/10th ... go to 45th/9th and walk south from there ... many more choices ! Hopefully you picked it up Saturday night ... you're due !
@GENE, Gidget & kari: Maybe I'll give the kilted bartenders a second chance, but probably not, kilts freak me out!
@fitzi: You wore a kilt? Ha ha ha! (Don't shoot me, mate!)
I'm sort of going to have to agree with the girls above about the men in kilts. I sort of find it attractive.....
Yes, St Andrews is a great place...and Gene likes spinach ravioli he got there once...great selections of beer...and not $9 a pint/bottle.